I was working with a family where the young person, W, a 14-year-old, wasn’t attending school and seemed to be at a breaking point.

When I first arrived at their home, the situation felt almost irreparable—confrontational and tense. W’s parents were struggling with their own conflicts, and the environment felt toxic, like oil and water—constantly clashing but never mixing. W was caught in the middle of this, and it was clear his self-worth had been deeply damaged by the way his parents spoke to him.

At first, building any form of connection was a real challenge. Conversations with W’s mum and dad were hostile, and it felt like W was being demonised within his own home. There was an overwhelming lack of love in how they interacted with him, and the conflict often escalated to a point where it felt unmanageable.

Using motivational interviewing techniques, I focused on creating space for honest conversations and slowly began to form a better relationship with W’s dad. I had always maintained a positive connection with W, which helped me bridge some of the communication gaps within the family.

Slowly, the dynamic shifted. The oil and water feeling began to subside, and we reached a turning point. I organised a meeting with the school, and for the first time, we were all aligned. The school, W, his dad, and I worked together to create a plan to support W’s return to education.

From that moment, everything started to change. W’s attendance went from 6% to 100%. He was engaging with his education again, and his relationship with his dad improved as he began to trust the support we were offering. The family, once divided and combative, began to collaborate and heal.